I JUST HATE THE HOLIDAYS

You may call me the Grinch, the Holiday Hater, or even the seasonal Scrouge but to put it simply, I HATE the holidays. What bothers me the most about October-December is other people's anticipation of it all. Throughout these 3 months I hear a collection of: "Christmas Season is coming up!!!", "25 Days of Christmas on TV is coming soon, I can't wait!!!" , "I'm literally counting down the days until Christmas comes", "I can't wait to see my cousins on Thanksgiving" and even the infamous question: "Aubree what are you doing for Christmas?!?"

Most of these statements just earn a blank stare and a nod of the head as I smoothly transition into the next topic of conversation.

My lack of enthusiasm isn't because i'm rude, it's because I really don't understand the appeal of the holidays. This has a large part to do with the fact that I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and the holidays weren't taken into account as a special occasion. No Halloween, no Thanksgiving, no Christmas, and certainly no birthday that fell in the middle of it all on December 10th.

Though it seems as though my religion was the source of all my unhappiness, it wasn't. My religion of being a Jehovah's Witness shaped me into the poised and gracious woman I am today. Though we don't practice it as we did when I was being brought up, we still respect the rules of not celebrating pagan holidays. So even now at almost 20 years old, I still haven't experienced my first Christmas.

I think the biggest thing that bothers me about the holidays is the lack of unity within my family. Unlike the rest of my friends, my family doesn't come together over one big feast like in the famous "Freedom from Want" Norman Rockwell painting. It's just never been like that. I've never had a parade of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents bustling through my door, invading my kitchen and suffocating me with affection. It's been more like a kiss of the cheek and seat at the dinner table for 3. One for my mom, one for my dad and one for me. Part of me wishes that I could start my life over and have another 50-60 people added to my family. But then another part of me just can't be bothered. The cards that I was dealt with are the cards that I should also be grateful for, right? My lack of a hearty family is probably why I don't care to get married or why I have no tolerance for children of my own. I'll save that for another blog post for another time.

In an ideal world, I would have a white Christmas. Where there are festive holiday socks hanging from the mantle with my family's names adorning them. And a big Christmas tree decorated in traditional ornaments, tinsel, and colorful lights, oh and that popcorn on a string that you always see on TV? That's up there too. There are colorful, precisely wrapped presents clad in all types of cheerful wrapping paper nestled under the tree. In the distance you can hear "Let It Snow" by Boys II Men playing softly in the distance as our fireplace roars with vigor. And as corny as it sounds, my family is clad in matching pajamas.

It's the little things that matter to me around holiday season and it seems to be that I get none of them. I've grown used to it but in the back of my mind, I think about what if we did live in that ideal world? What if I loved the holidays? What if Christmas was as sentimental and jolly as it was on TV? Maybe the problem is that I lived vicariously through TV for too long?

All I can truly say is that I HATE the holidays.

We'll Chat soon, AubreeKhyleStyle - Xx