Like Doves in the Wind...

"Real n*ggas do not deserve p*ssy; meaning it's more, you see right through walls; Ain't talking about p*ssy."

These lyrics come straight from R&B's sultry singer SZA. Her new album, Ctrl, is full of mellow tracks and thoughtful ballads about her own self growth has got me thinking. Some songs entail self-reflection and other controversial tracks speak on sharing a man .... if only for a weekend (one of the best songs thus far). One track though, Doves in The Wind (quoted above), has got me thinking about one thing: P*ssy. I've decided to address the elephant in the room: Should sex really be regarded as trivial?

I get it, it's 2017 and I only ask this because a lot of the time, I see sex regarded as an insignificant factor between two people and more often than not someone's feelings usually get hurt. There's a disconnect as to what the sex taking place really means and by that point it's too late. Feelings are established and from there only two words can happen: Crash. Burn.

Before you spring to answer yes hurriedly, seriously think about whether no sex would be the end all, be all? Stripping away all aspects of consensual sex and that kind of sexual intimacy, could you last ? A hot button issue, yes, but none the less I feel as though we should talk about it.

To hear my girl SZA tell it, men should just, "Sit back, relax, just ease ya mind and just ride," without ever considering sex. Never push, prod or pressure for sex. Sex should be the furthest thing from their mind. She even goes as far as referencing Forest Gump, saying that Forest never pressured Jenny for sex, and she was the love of his life, no less. So the real question is: Where's Forest Gump, when you need him? This metaphorical Forest Gump builds your relationship with affection, consistency, respect and communication... not just off the basis of whether or not to use condom.

Just when you thought this song couldn't get any better, it totally does. Kendrick Lamar swoops in and delivers an effortless verse about how, "N*ggas will lose their minds for it, wine for it, dine for it" and if you couldn't tell he's talking about that box of chocolates SZA mentioned earlier. I would hope that men would also "Spend time for you and see no colored line for you" even if you weren't giving up sex. According to Kendrick: p*ssy is a heavyweight champ, p*ssy has endless prisoners, p*ssy can be facetious and good p*ssy is rather dangerous. He ends this very empowering verse by teling SZA to speak her truth about this matter.

In a recent interview SZA says, "There's a lot more that I can give you besides p*ssy that can build you up," and I completely agree. Everyone has so much more to offer besides sex. Sex should be regarded rather as the highest form of intimacy after the relationship has fully formed. Don't use sex as a crutch. Don't be that guy/girl in a situationship. That can only take a relationship but so far. Hold fast, dear.

SZA says it best: "You could never trivialize p*ssy." Meaning you could never regard sex as something less complex or less important than it really is. If it's a relationship that you crave then feel a vibe before having sex, form a bond before having sex, get to know each other before you having sex, create boundaries before having sex, trust each other before having sex and for the love of God get test before having sex.

"I'm really tryna crack off that headboard and bust it wide open for the right one" -SZA. Notice she says for the right one. Ladies if he can't handle the fact that you aren't opening your legs for or you just want more, he can just continue being "MadTV".

Hope you found this read to be interesting, we'll chat soon - AubreeKhyleStyle Xx